How do I feel? Free, Satisfied and A Little Lonely

24 years old and it’s the first time I spend a national holiday alone. I’m not alone literally as I’m staying with my sister but she went out with her friends and I’m at home all by myself, eating leftover food my sister brought home last night for lunch while jotting down these words. Let’s me get this clear first. My sister is a wonderful and caring person! She let me stay for free in her rented room for the last two months and take care of me. Though it’s widely known that family ties are closer in Eastern countries, we all know that she doesn’t have to that, right. So, please don’t misunderstand my sister and feel sorry for me. I’m not!

I’ve just moved to the city for almost two months and still looking for a job. During the time, I’m blessed enough to be able to stay at my sister’s room and enjoy my life. I’m grateful and thank her for it.

Today is the first day of a 5-day-national holiday and outside it’s raining lightly. I’m sitting on the floor facing a big window typing these lines and wondering what my parents are doing back home. I texted my mom but she hasn’t replied yet.

I had been living with my parents for 23 years straight before moving to this city. I love my parents and we have no significant family issues (of course we do have small arguments, yelling and disagreements on this or that like any other family). My reason for moving out is because I want to live on my own, to practice independence and to have new experiences. I want to step out of the safe nest that my parents had built up and the comfort zone that I’m so used to and see life at different angles. Finally, I believe a distance enables me to see clearly and be thankful for what I have and to figure out how long it takes me to miss home (this idea comes from one of my favorite books). It’s definitely easier said than done and I have been reminded me of these goals daily.

So, how do I feel spending a national holiday on my own for the first time? I feel free, satisfied and a little lonely.

I’m free and satisfied because it’s something I always wanted to experience and I did it. Though I don’t have my close friends by my side or a big meal to come home to, I enjoy the lovely feelings of drinking a cup of hot tea while reading my newly bought book and writing a few paragraphs for my blog. The surrounding is quiet, peacefully quiet. And even I’m not free of worries and problems (no one ever will), I allow myself to enjoy the moment, by myself, on my own. And a bit of loneliness? It’s because I miss my parents. And my mom still doesn’t reply my text yet (==!)

 How do you feel spending a special occasion on your own, my friends? I’m curious to hear your story. 


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